The title pretty much sets the tone straight on what I am trying to talk about, but in case you are still in the ‘denial’ mode and refuse to accept what is already happening to you, then my dear friend please understand that ‘ghosting’ under any circumstance is an addled up feeling. So one can only image how much it can frustrate and hurt someone to be ghosted during a pandemic. Here’s a list of a few things you can keep in mind that will help you or anyone you know who is currently being ‘ghosted’:
Table of Contents
Accept The ‘Disconnection’
No friend, your Whatsapp is not hanging up neither there’s anything wrong with your Insta DM. Your network might be weak but if someone truly wants to stay connected in 2020, there are ways to fulfil this wish. A lot of people have been ghosted during the pandemic by their friends, potential partners, even families. The mind will go numb and the heart will ask ‘what happened’, so please let it. Accept the reality and the ‘disconnection’ that followed your relationship quotient. It sucks, but this is the first step to get normalcy back in your life.
It Is Not Always About ‘What You Did’
A break-up or ghosting (which hurts more than a break-up with a closure) is mostly followed by the sunken feeling of what happened and what went wrong. If you are like me, then chances are you will go all hard on yourself and demand an answer to ‘what did I do’, instead of blatantly blaming the one who ghosted you in this equation. I don’t want to advocate this behaviour or make a case for anyone, but sometimes, it is not about what you said or did or did not do. Sometimes, amidst a storm that grips the mind and heart of everyone, some people lose their emotional strength and the stamina to continue being there for us, to maintain a healthy equation. The price might be paid by you right now, but it is good riddance in the long run. Why let someone have a part of you they don’t even value?
Prioritise Your Own Mental Health
Please remind yourself that before your heart belongs to anyone else, it first belongs to you. Your emotional state and your mental state are two primary things which require utmost priority. Consider opening up to a friend, a family member or take therapy if the break-up has left you in a bad state. Seeking professional help is not a bad thing. If one doesn’t mind working out with a trainer, why think twice about working and opening up to a professional who can help you deal with your situation? You’ll be surprised what a long chat with a good friend, a good night’s sleep, watching a rerun of FRIENDS or picking a good book can do. Prioritise yourself. Everything else can wait.
Always remember that when anyone else in the world might ghost or desert you, but the only person who cannot and will not ghost you is actually you! Please don’t go hard on yourself. Ambiguity and lack of closure can put anyone in self doubt and affect the way you perceive a friendship or a relationship, but sometimes in life, we have no control over how others perceive the same relationship. Sometimes, people choose to stay for a season, and not a reason, in our lives. While moving on is the only viable option, no one is asking you to do it today. Allow your heart and mind to feel sad or bitter, cleanse your brain and then choose yourself every single day.