Break ups are bad and seemingly the one advice you always get post your break up, is keeping your distance from your ex-girlfriend.
Have you heard your friends always tell you "whatever you do bro, just don't hook up with your ex, move on man"? Well, that advice is valid and legit only because you want to forget the past and move forward and maybe give someone else a chance. But there is a lingering feeling deep inside you, which probably still connects to your ex, and it's kinda inevitable and there is nothing you can do to contain that feeling really.
There may come a time where you will bump into your ex at a party or a bar, and if you haven't seen each other for long, you'll either ignore each other's respective presence or rekindle long lost conversations. Most likely, it's the latter and sometimes, those conversations could bring about latent feelings and the sexual pleasure you both derived from each other.
Yes, sleeping with an ex is as common as the common cold and many of us indulge in it, and feel either ashamed or angry the next day or know for a fact that feelings for them still remain. But what if I told you, sleeping with an ex is not that bad, after all?
Yes, you read that right. According to some recent research from Wayne State University, having sex with your ex might not be such a bad idea, in fact, the research argues that it may even be a 'good' idea.
The study was conducted in two parts and it analysed the daily experiences and activities of 113 individuals who'd recently broken up or were going through a break-up. Two months after the break-up, they were given a questionnaire to fill.
The questionnaire asked if they'd tried to have physical contact with their ex and if they were emotionally attached to them and how they felt, every day, after they'd had some form of physical contact with their ex. The second part was somewhat similar, where 372 participants were asked to take a survey, which asked them similar questions about physical contact with their ex's and their level of attachments with them.
The result was quite fascinating actually. Rather than expecting that sleeping with an ex is emotionally turbulent and can leave feelings to linger on, hindering your ability to move on, while prolonging the heartbreak, the researchers found that sleeping with an ex really didn't stop the day-today healing process.
The participants who pined after their exes were more likely to have sex with them and even after that they didn't feel heartbroken or emotionally stunted, or even upset. In fact, hooking up with their ex, left them feeling more positive, every day.
"This research suggests that societal handwringing regarding trying to have sex with an ex may not be warranted. The fact that sex with an ex is found to be most eagerly pursued by those having difficulty moving on, suggests that we should perhaps instead more critically evaluate people's motivations behind pursuing sex with an ex." - the lead researcher, Stephanie Spielmann said in an interview with an international publication.
But that being established, it's always necessary to know where you stand with your feelings and your emotions. There may have been research conducted to establish that sex is good with the ex but more often than not, it's subjective.
If you feel mangled up and distraught after any form of physical contact with them or if you feel that physical intimacy with an ex acts as a deterrent for you to move on successfully, then you have to weigh your decision well. But if you think like the rest of the subjects from the research, your feelings are intact and you feel good about it, then, of course, go for it.
But remember, don't have any expectations. if you're sleeping with an ex, in order to win them back, it may lead to more complications later and leave you more heartbroken than before!